Sculpture Stories

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Atomic Chicken waiting for a delivery of water before taking Al the Fish to Sing Sing.

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Baroness Warlus discussing with Ducky Duck and Donkee how to get Marsupilami off her tail.

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Boarina doing a relaxing yoga move on an early Wednesday morning.

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Warlus in Wonderland

Unblemished in her hourglass frame

Whiskers blooming                       The Walrus thought:

Take another oyster-mullusk-steam shell

Wrap my lips over it                    And

suck the vivid contents…             Out!

“Adding a few stones?” said the Rabbit

Its nose sniffing the cold air as he quickly approached Walrus on the beach

Then it blew some smoke out from a walnut pipe

and jiggled its bum

in deep thought down to its tripes

One may say the Moon is lighting the shore

He’s given me the go for my gut

With Christmas on the horizon

I’m eating everything from shells to halibut

Thank God for my corset! (Pronounced “corsut”)

“But you are lovely, you are!” cheered the Rabbit

(Whose secret desire for blubber made him pant all the faster.)

You move with Grace

Your steps bewilder

And few on this continent have such an appealing, whiskered face!

That is gallant of you, Mr Rabbit

True, I don’t take drugs

I despise thugs

My only weakness is my tight laced whalebone accoutrement

That keeps out the bugs

Tell me Mademoiselle Walrus

This is the season of              Cheer

Name any wish for these festive occasions

Any desire that knows no ration

It will be yours

There is one thing now if you propose

Promise not to renege       One never knows

My cousin in Australia a Camel rides every day

Such a present

Is better than a cheese tray!

You shall have you wish! Hooted the Rabbit

Just grant me one promise

He said as he pointed his nose up at hers

You must side-saddle, ignore these latest trends

Any other position will give me the bends.

At those words there was a shift in the sweet, round Walrus eyes

Fire kindled faster in her belly that a 100 oyster dives

In one swift move she seized the Rabbit,

Breaking its neck with its long tusks

She said: “Toot, toot” and arched her bust, walking off into the dusk.

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Cracked Cat meets the Pope

It was a rough night in bed. Ducky Duck couldn’t sleep a wink: his friend Cracked Cat

was going to see the new Pope tomorrow. Cracked Cat was timorous about getting a benediction so early on in the Pope’s Papacy but Ducky Duck was irrefutable: “Do it” he said.

(Ducky Duck reflecting on what Cracked Cat should wear to meet the Pope) 11:06 am

Cracked Cat slept well. He had faith in Ducky Duck, after all she was her best friend. True she was “special”. One didn’t run into transexual ducks everyday. But Cracked Cat loved her. They were in it together and the proof was ice fishing. Ducky Duck hated ice but loved fish. Cracked Cat was cracked: she loved it all. But recently she was on a poor spate: last month she only caught 2 fish in one week. Two fish! Night after night she came home chilled to the bone; her nails could hardly retract.

Two fish in one week wasn’t enough to eat and usually she would catch 10 times that much!

Off she went  in Ducky Duck’s limousine  to see Francis the 1st.

The timing was tight. Francis was just getting off his coronation. He got word from Ducky Duck about Cracked Cat coming and since he “owed a few” to Ducky, he couldn’t refuse. He would have to take the cat in his private Logia and give her an express benediction. All this without a word to the press, the pontificate insisted to his entourage.

Cracked Cat showed up just before midnight. “I don’t want just any benediction your Hooliness” she said, “I need a special blessing for ice fishing. Don’t just Ave Maria me” she hissed, her head proudly held up, revealing a few of her sharp teeth.

The Pope got on his knees and murmured some things in latin. He then crossed Cracked Cat and said: “Ora tu puoi pescare tanti pesci.” (Cracked Cat didn’t speak Italian but she knew the word pesci was fish.) She thanked Francis and swiftly took leave under the look of angels and a lot of golden suffering on the walls.

The next day she was out ice fishing and she caught more fish than she could haul home. What a surprise for Ducky Duck!

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Jobbik Party looses a precious Tapir


Tapiregerdi was one of the most outspoken members of the Jobbik Party. In Hungary he had free say to put down jews, gypsies, blacks and any ethnic monstrosity other than pure Hungarian.

The Hungarian police supports the Jobbik, and Tapiregerdi (or Tapirmouse in English) was invited to speak in front of many crowds and pocketed lots of money from fundraisers.

One day Tapiregerdi was approached by Ducky Duck and who decided to rat on his old friend: Tapiregerdi was a Jew and the Jobbik was going to hang him sooner or later. Tapiregerdi tried to pay off Ducky Duck and even offered him a bottle of champagne.

But even the best foie gras wouldn’t have made Ducky Duck change his mind. 

 On April 8th, 2013, at 10:10 am precisely, Tapiregerdi was denounced by Ducky Duck of being Jewish. “Tapiregerdi a jew!”laughed Captain Rendorsheg, the head of the police and occasional drinking partner.

Big Josephina, better known as Captain Rendorsheg, the head of the Hungarian Police having a discussion with Tapiregedi in March of 2013.

Today, Tapiregerdi has swung 180 degrees: she now denounces the Jobbik Party and is a staunch believer for the rights of Jews, Gypsies and all minorities to reside in Hungary without  discrimination. Tapiregerdi has made many calls to discuss this issue with Big Josephina -his former girlfriend- but she has cut all contact with him.

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The kidnapping of Brunberlesca

It was a beautiful spring day. Brunberlesca was waiting for the milkman’s delivery when suddenly she was kidnapped.

She was wrapped up in a white sheet and thrown, with force, into the back of a car.

For days there was no trace of her. The police put up roadblocks but came up short. Then, 72 hours into the search, they were tipped off about a stolen car in a parking lot.

Brunberlesca was in the car! And on the car’s window was the signature of Tony the Condor. Tony had eluded the Vice for years. Rumors had it that it tattooed its wings with stars according to the number of cows it had kidnapped.

Tony the Condor was surprised by Ducky Duck who used Cracked Cat as a decoy to free her.

Brunberlesca was so excited to be home she told all her friends, including Big Joesephina.

Big Josephina just getting the news of Brunberlesca’s freedom.

Big Joesephina was elated. She was going through a separation with Mighty Joe who was eloping with some blond chick. She was so busy with her lawyers that she lost touch with all her friends. But thanks to Cracked Cat, she got a film of her Mighty Joe that was bountiful evidence for her divorce settlement.

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